Polyamory dating definition

17.12.2017 2 Comments

Many of us have deeply committed relationships with more than one partner, with no hierarchy among them and no core "couple" at the heart of it all. But my life with my partners isn't reducible to "what happens behind closed doors" any more than any serious, long-term relationship is. But for those of us living in polyamorous families, it can be incredibly frustrating when people use those concepts of open marriage to make assumptions about the structure of our relationships. It can do, depending on the nature of the relationship. I want to be perfectly clear that I don't see anything wrong with strictly sexual non-monogamy so long as it's genuinely fulfilling and consensual for all involved, including the outside partners. Those who are poly remain committed to one partner when another person comes along — whereas those who are monogamous will often practice serial monogamy. Some will believe that everyone must get jealous to a certain extent, and may deal with this by not wanting to know about any other partners — but this can lead to problems further down the line, as communication is key to making a poly relationship work. It seems that it is somewhat easy for many people to acknowledge that humans are capable of loving one person and still enjoying sex with others assuming, of course, that the terms of their relationship make such behavior acceptable. But I am also deeply in love with and committed to my boyfriend of two and a half years, and it hurts that people make assumptions about that relationship simply being something frivolous and recreational outside my marriage.

Polyamory dating definition


If you have polyamorous friends, relatives, or acquaintances, please don't make assumptions about their lives based on what you think all non-monogamous configurations look like. Because we live in such a monogamy-centered society, it makes sense that many people can only conceive of non-monogamy in what ultimately still amounts to monogamous terms. Many of us have deeply committed relationships with more than one partner, with no hierarchy among them and no core "couple" at the heart of it all. With polyamory, deep relationships are the focus — although the sex is often fun. Many share homes in configurations like ours, or as committed triads or quads or complex networks of five or more. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. But there's one in particular that I'd like to discuss: We share a home and a life; we are a family. Those who are poly remain committed to one partner when another person comes along — whereas those who are monogamous will often practice serial monogamy. That might seem logical if what we're talking about is strictly extramarital sexual partners. Openly, publicly acknowledging my boyfriend as my partner is not just saying that we have sex. To me, this notion that there must be one more important relationship, one true love, feels a lot like people looking at same-sex couples and thinking that one person must be the "man" in the relationship and the other must be the "woman. There is a common misconception that a polyamorous relationship is really no different from an open-relationship agreement: The concept of being poly and loving multiple people can be compared to a parent having multiple children — a mother or father will love all of their children equally, and not have more love for one child than another. Many have deep and lasting relationships with no cohabitation at all. It's saying that, like my husband, he is my partner in every sense of the word. Here is everything you need to know. Ella Byworth for Metro. It seems that it is somewhat easy for many people to acknowledge that humans are capable of loving one person and still enjoying sex with others assuming, of course, that the terms of their relationship make such behavior acceptable. The unfortunate result of this is that, for those of us in more than one serious and meaningful relationship, the world around us insists on viewing one of those relationships as less valid than the other, especially when one relationship happens to predate others. And if they identify multiple people as their partners, don't try to read into who is more important than whom, imagining hierarchies even if you're told there are none. He loves me and supports me and respects me. I want to be perfectly clear that I don't see anything wrong with strictly sexual non-monogamy so long as it's genuinely fulfilling and consensual for all involved, including the outside partners. But I am also deeply in love with and committed to my boyfriend of two and a half years, and it hurts that people make assumptions about that relationship simply being something frivolous and recreational outside my marriage. Some will believe that everyone must get jealous to a certain extent, and may deal with this by not wanting to know about any other partners — but this can lead to problems further down the line, as communication is key to making a poly relationship work.

Polyamory dating definition


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2 thoughts on “Polyamory dating definition”

  1. But it is much harder for people to think outside the fairy-tale notion of "the one" and imagine that it might be possible to actually romantically love more than one person simultaneously.

  2. That might seem logical if what we're talking about is strictly extramarital sexual partners.

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