Then you send an email out of the blue basically asking him to not email you until there's more face-time. Then he makes a plan to see you before a long trip, and you are not in town. My guess is neither of us is exactly each other's type - and I wasn't that attracted to him physically, but to my own surprise I started to put it together that we had some important and rare things in common, and definitely wanted to get to know him more. You are wasting your time at this point. He's someone you do actually like, and replying to email isn't all that time consuming. That said, if you want to keep it up, you should see if something is really there - you can certainly talk on the phone, landlines if need be or a cell from your house that's just acting as a glorified cordless phone, to save on long distance , and you should be planning to see each other.
So the two of you are just sending emails, because you also don't like talking on the phone and you aren't physically nearby. After that I backed off on my emailing again because I realized I was in fact developing an attachment to him but that I barely knew him at all in real life, and lord knows I'm already pretty good at projecting. Do not confess anything, you're not dating, don't keep in touch. It was an unremarkable first date: Write him an email that says, "It was nice to hear from you, but based upon the fact that our lives are so busy and we're not really able to meet up with any regularity, it's probably best that we go our own ways. I say this because: Hi, I'm an overthinking female. With the traveling you do, surely you have some frequent flier miles stored up? He has just written saying, "sorry, I know six months is a long time, but I'm willing to keep emailing if you are. And if date 2 can't even happen, that is, if he's unable to see you at all for the next SIX MONTHS, I would say it's probably not worth continuing to e-mail unless you trust yourself to a not get attached to this guy, and b really make an effort to meet other guys who are available to see you. Turns out "XX dates" fell exactly within a small window of a few days he was going to be back - just long enough to pack and head out of state again - for the winter. I don't know if it's possible for me to dial it back now. There are almost certainly better ways to focus your attention and energy. Until then I admit I wasn't very consistent about writing, only because I didn't want to get too far along online without meeting. The first date was awkward and you weren't physically attracted to him. I like him a lot as a human being. I was tempted to keep going along writing, but decided to go with a short note - "great to hear from you, looking forward to seeing you when you get back, btw my work schedule has changed and I'll be out of town on XX dates. I let him know I was open to him contacting me when he got back into town. He sent a few more nice emails and I had little heart pangs but felt a bit irritated. If you think it's possible that he's feeling this way, you could just clear things up. Honestly my intention was not that romantic, but he seemed like someone I'd get along well with. But if you are still actively looking for another connection with someone you can see in person, then what is the problem with continuing to write him? Then he makes a plan to see you before a long trip, and you are not in town. If he's willing and able to go on another date, do it and see what happens. We write every couple of weeks, mostly platonic stories of our adventures, nothing inappropriately intimate - though it seems we're both interested in each other. He's someone you do actually like, and replying to email isn't all that time consuming.
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